The
Deatherians by John O'Keefe |
Scene 11 (The Casa Rosa: A strip show. The lights rise on Vørdigger. He is sitting at a table. He is smoking a large joint and drinking vodka from a bottle. Farther down a man* is sitting at the same table. He is eating. Vørdigger begins, first talking to himself then later begins to include his rather unwilling neighbor. All the while Vørdigger is intermittently assailed by aural hallucinations.) Vørdigger (To himself) I can't sleep. My brain is like a toilet bowl. (Sounds) Shut up! (He addresses the guy) You think I'm crazy, huh? You don't look to sane yourself. I know, I'm a psychiatrist. (The guy looks at him, then looks back at his plate and continues eating) I've watched mad people all of my life. I always wondered what it was like, if they knew they were mad. (To the guy) You can't hear it, can you. The noise. (Vørdigger stuffs the joint in his mouth, grabs the bottle and scoots up near the guy. The guy turns away. Vørdigger takes a long pull from the bottle and a big toke from the joint. Sounds.) I feel something being born in me. The trees, the sky, the earth, the dead, they're all screaming at us. (He looks at the guy.) You know how ugly that is, that thing you're doing to your face? (He makes chewing motions and smacks his lips) Stuffing it with dead muscle and sex organs. (The guy suddenly grabs Vørdigger by the lapels and pushes him against the back of the chair. He is about to slug him when a light appears comes up on the stage. The guy releases Vørdigger, looks about him guiltily and sits at the farthest end of the table. Vørdigger hardly knows what's gone on. The MC's voice comes over the speakers.) MC's Voice Meine Dammen und Herren, the Casa Rosa proudly presents Ingravia Solari, the Dominatrix. Give her a loud hand! (The sound of applause comes over the speakers. A woman dressed in S and M leather appears in the doorway, accompanied by sleazy sex music. She is INGRAVIA.* Could be played in drag. Ingravia snaps a cat of nine tails. She screams at the audience. Ingravia wiggles and prances as she sings. She has an Italian accent. She also has a cat of nine.) Ingravia Where is my baby! Where is my baby! I want her! (To an audience member) Are you my baby? No. Get out of here. (She looks about the audience.) Francesca, where are you? She is hiding from me. She knows she's been a whore! Where are you, you little cunt? You tight little honey bowl, come on, let me give you a licking. (She looks about the audience) I know you're out there. (Suddenly a scantily clad young woman with huge fake boobs jumps out in the audience and cries out. She falls to her knees. She is the sought after woman, FRANCESCA* Could be played in drag.) Francesca Please, please, Ingravia, don't hurt me. (Ingravia cries out in delight and runs to Francesca.) Vørdigger (From his place) Delightful! (To the guy) You know, I haven't gone to places like this before. Ingravia You leetle whore! (To a man in the audience near Francesca) Have you been fucking my girlfriend? I should beat you. You should be so lucky! (She grabs Francesca by the handcuffs and pulls her up. Francesca has an Italian accent.) Francesca Please! Please, don't beat me! Vørdigger (Calling out) Beat her! Beat her! (He laughs.) Ingravia (As she ties Francesca's hands to a ring on the stage) Don't listen to her, she's a slut. She likes it! She likes it. She likes everything. (She begins lashing Francesca with the cat) Don't you? Don't you, you hot leetle fucker! (Francesca writhes in ecstasy.) Francesca Yes! Yes! I can't help it! I love it! I love it! (The music gets louder as Ingravia beats Francesca.) Vørdigger This is wonderful. Beat her! Beat her! (Finally, Francesca goes limp with satisfaction. Ingravia pulls Francesca's head back and kisses her passionately. Francesca whispers something in Ingravia's ear. The music stops. Ingravia turns to the audience aghast.) Ingravia I can't believe what my dear beloved, Francesca, has just whispered to me. She wants someone else. She wants the two of us to beat him. What a naughty girl. But if my lovely wants it what can I do? (She unties Francesca's hands. They both turn and look at the audience with demonic grins) Who do you want my love? Which one of them? (They go out into the audience and look at the people.) That one? (Francesca nods "no.") How about that one? (Francesca looks at the person carefully, then nods "no.") This one, then? (Francesca looks the person over, then nods "no.") Don't be so picky. This one then. Stand up, come on, stand up. (Francesca nods "no.). (Suddenly Vørdigger stands up and shouts.) Vørdigger How about me, you beautiful fuckers? (He staggers away from the table toward them.) I need a beating. (Francesca and Ingravia look at each other nonplused, then shrug their shoulders and grin.) Ingravia Are you sure you want it, big boy? (Vørdigger falls to his knees and spreads his arms to them.) Vørdigger I do! I do! Ingravia (To Francesca) Do you want him, darling? Francesca Why not, he's as ripe as an old banana. Ingravia (To the audience) He's a brave boy, give him a hand! (The sound of applause comes over the speakers, followed by music. Ingravia and Francesca rush over to Vørdigger and pull him up on stage. They tie his hands to the ring. Francesca grabs a cat from the stage. She and Ingravia begin lashing Vørdigger. Vørdigger twists and starts.) Vørdigger Come on, you can do better than that. (The women beat him harder.) Vørdigger You think you're tough with your little comic act? (He whirls around on them) You are nothing but corpses! Corpses! (For a moment the two women stop and look at him. Vørdigger grins at them.). Well do me, you stupid cows, do me! (The women throw him up against the wall and whip him harder. Vørdigger screams at them.) Vørdigger You're ugly! You got sense organs all over your face! You smell like a swamp! You ooze like boils. You sticky, ugly, slimy fucking cunts! (Francesca shrieks and pulls Vørdigger's pants down, exposing his bare ass. The sound of the audience laughing comes over the speakers. They begin lashing Vørdigger wildly. Vørdigger writhes and cries out, a jungle of animals cry with him.) Vørdigger (cont.) That's more like it! Break the skin off my back. Let my spirit free. Come on, you pussies! Beat it out of me! Beat it out of me! (The women beat him. Vørdigger pulls his head back and howls as the lights fade. In the darkness Vørdigger's howls become the howls of wolves.) Scene 12 (Jimmy and Joe are knocking on a door. ) Joe I couldn't get it on with Jesus, you know. I mean, I feel like a Christian. I know that he is the Lord, but I just can't get behind all the morality shit. Jimmy That doesn't matter, you can be forgiven for that. (A Guy comes out, accepts a religious pamphlet from Jimmy, and is looking at it when Jimmy knees him in the balls. He falls and Joe drags him into the shadows to continue the assault.) But have you accepted him, Joe, I mean as your Personal Savior? Joe Yeah, I think so. (He breaks the Guy's neck with a snap.) Jimmy Thinking isn't enough. You gotta know. Joe I know, I know. Jimmy Hey, Joe, you can't fuck around with this stuff. The Lord is fucking everywhere. Don't you think he knows if you're bullshitting? Joe That's what scares me, Jimmy. What if I think I am one with the Lord and I find out, or worse, they find out that I'm not? Jimmy Why do you think I'm here, man? They got a fucking request out on me right now. Joe Bible Camp, you? You didn't tell me that. Jimmy 80 percent of the wet backs in Amsterdam got requests for Bible Camp. Where the fuck you bin?
(They emerge from the shadows. Jimmy has a severed hand in one hand and piano wire in the other.) Joe Man, you're clumsy. Jimmy I'm new with piano wire. Joe (Pointing at the severed hand) Put that thing in a bag, man. Jimmy (Putting the hand in a plastic bag) Why does the Minister always have us cut things off these geeks? Joe She's got to have proof, fingerprints and shit. Hell, I don't know. (We hear Vørdigger's hallucinations in the distance. Vørdigger appears. He is mumbling to himself. His pants are around his ankles.) Vørdigger Come out of your houses! Wake up. The gods have arrived. A god walks in me. Jimmy (Seeing Vørdigger) Look what's comin'. Joe Looks like a candidate for the list. Shall we bag him? Jimmy Why not? (Jimmy disappears into the shadows. Joe steps out into the street.) Joe Sir! Sir! Could you help me, I'm lost. Vørdigger Ik spreek geen Engels. (Vørdigger's hallucination: "Dern! Dern!") Joe Come on, sir, please help me.(Vørdigger continues down the street. Joe pleads with him from his place) I'm a student. (Vørdigger's hallucinations.) Vørdigger (Without turning) You're a meat puppet. (Jimmy steps out of the shadows behind Vørdigger. ) Jimmy That's no way to talk to a Christian. (Vørdigger's hallucination. He slowly turns toward Jimmy, a smile creasing his face.) Vørdigger Of course there's more than one of you. Are there any more? Joe Why don't you pull your pants up, man? (Vørdigger looks down, realizing for the first time, that his pants are around his ankles.) Jimmy (To Joe) Jesus, man, he's pissed all over himself. Joe Hey, old man, pull your pants up. Vørdigger (Indicating his underwear) Does this bother you? Are you afraid you'll want to suck me? Joe You piss me off, man. (Vørdigger pulls his underwear down, spreads his arms and flashes them.) Jimmy Pull up your underwear, man, I don't want to see your old fucking dick. (Vørdigger hallucinations. Vørdigger looks down at his nakedness as if seeing it for the first time. He pulls up his underwear.) Vørdigger My god. Joe We're gonna bag you for the Minister. Vørdigger Who are you? Joe You're gonna be listed, dude. Bring down the Minister, Jimmy. (Jimmy pulls out a cell phone and punches a number. Vørdigger hallucinations. Vørdigger staggers toward the Americans.) Vørdigger What a fucking night. (The Americans go for him. Vørdigger whirls around on Jimmy, striking him in the face. Vørdigger kicks Jimmy in the balls, sending Jimmy to the ground. The hallucinations increase). Vørdigger You are illusions. (Vørdigger grabs back of Joe's head and brings Joe's face into his knee. Joe and Jimmy writhe on the ground. A plastic garbage bag is suddenly brought down over Vørdigger, wielded by Hatherdal. Vørdigger staggers, the bag over him. Hatherdal throws a noose over it and draws it tight. The shape of Vørdigger's head appears covered with plastic. She throws a foot into the middle of Vørdigger's back, crosses to Jimmy and pulls him up by his hair.) Hatherdal Can't you do anything right? Jimmy He's a lot tougher than he looks, Minister.
(She releases Jimmy's head, whirls around and kicks Joe in the crotch.) Hatherdal Shut up! I should send you back to Disney Land, Mr. Goofeys. Who is this guy? Joe He's a geek. Jimmy We were going to tag him for the list. Joe He was walking around with his pants down and everything. Jimmy He was really weird, Minister. (She tears open the top of the bag, exposing Vørdigger's head. He is dazed.) Vørdigger I've wounded my brain. Christ, I'm leaking! (New sounds enter the hallucinations) Hatherdal Wait, I know this man. Look what the devil has thrown in my path. When I was a girl I was a patient in his ward. What a useless excuse for a healer. Mein fucking gott. Look at his eyes. (to Vørdigger) Doctor, you look quite mad. It seems the tables have turned. (She is ecstatically to the Americans.) He is a friend of Krator. Oh, Krator, I've got you surrounded. Gonna make you a man. Hatherdal (cont.) (Singing)
Hatherdal (cont.)
Hatherdal (cont.)
(The lights bump to black.) Scene 13 (The lights rise in the Termination Room. Krator is washing up killing stuff. He does it like a professional dishwasher. Torvald is standing over several plastic slop buckets.) Krator These motherfuckers are just too complicated. (He throws a piece of metal from the killing bed to the floor.) It drives me crazy. Look, it doesn't even break. I can't stand it. (Torvald looks at the buckets.) Torvald Krator, I don't want to do this any longer. Krator What are you talking about, it's a good gig. (He looks up from his work.) I've run through every jug of Seldemite in this place. Torvald, get me another jar. (Torvald goes to the counter and pulls out a gallon jug of Seldemite and gives it to Krator. Krator opens the jug of Seldemite, grabs an empty slop bucket and pours the Seldemite into it. All the while Torvald is talking.) Torvald Listen to me, I can't stand it any longer. This killing, it's the wrong profession. It's worse than Dentistry. I think that is what is going wrong in our household. (Krator opens one of slop buckets and begins pulling out guts.) Krator This is good work. We got everything, compensation, the geld, come on, Torvald, lighten up. (He begins scrubbing a large intestine.) It is as good as it gets. I met this girl. She's scurvy. But I like her. I want her. I don't know why. (Torvald begins scrubbing various body parts.) Torvald You throw women off and on like helmets. What's the fucking matter with you? Krator You know, Torvald, I've been depressed so long, she makes me kind of happy. I'm going to create a little surprise for her. Torvald I want to talk to you about something. Krator Sure. Torvald I've begun studying living people. Krator Change is good. Torvald I've found the same brain wave. Krator Brain wave? Torvald The one I told you about. Why don't you listen? Krator Sorry, remind me. Torvald The brain wave in the alpha frequency. 1.5% of the dead have it. Krator Oh, that, yes. So? Torvald The same percentage of the living have it also. I've been checking brainscans. There are many brain scans of living people on file. You're brain scan is on file. So is mine. So is Nora's. The same percentage of the living have it, 1.5%.* Krator What? This brain wave? Torvald You have it. Krator What? Torvald This brain wave. I call it "The Spike." Krator I have "The Spike" ? Torvald The Spike. Krator What the fuck is it? Torvald I don't know yet. (Krator puts the lid on the slop bucket.) Krator Don't lose it. I'll have to let you go. (Torvald caps his slop bucket.) Torvald Krator, you have "The Spike." There is something important going on here and you are a part of it whether you want to be or not. You belong to an elite group. Krator Oh, for Christ's sake, Torvald, I got work to do. Give me that bucket. (Torvald gives Krator the bucket. Krator exits with a slop bucket in each hand) Torvald You aren't always right. Nora's going to leave. (Calling after Krator) I have ate her out! (The lights stay up on the Termination Room while...) |
|
issues
5 & 6 home |
ec chair | broken
news | celine | critical
urgencies | burning bush
| ficciones secret agents | stage and screen | letters | gallery |
||
home | search | submit | corpse cafe | archives | corpse mall | our gang | ||
©1999-2002 Exquisite Corpse - If you experience difficulties with this site, please contact the webmistress. |