Exquisite Corpse - Issue 3
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Selection Number 26 from Selected Stories of Jeva
by Scott Partridge


'They never let poor Nigel play in any cockroach games,' sang Scott.

Jeva looked up from his sesame chicken.  He gave Scott some kind of look.

Scott sucked on his ice tea.  'Nigel.  Nigel the red-nosed cockroach,' he said, by way of explanation, and to no one in particular: 'You know what I'm saying?  Do you know?  Do you know?'

'I'm a little embarrassed saying 'cockroach' because it has the word 'cock' in it, a rude euphemism for 'penis,'' said Bob.

'Not me,' said Scott, 'That's one reason I like saying it.'

Jeva was opening his fortune cookie: 'crick!'  Crumbs fell into puddles of duck sauce.  'Four fortunes in one cookie,' announced Jeva.  It was the best thing that had happened to him all day. Feeling spirited now, he remarked, 'Yesterday on my way to work I found a ten dollar bill and a one dollar bill.  I put the ten dollar bill in my pocket.  The one dollar bill, I wrote JEVA on it, and stuck it to a metal pole next to the sidewalk.'

Scott said: 'Why did you do that?'

'Someone will peel it off and put it in their pocket,' Jeva chuckled.

Bob asked: 'How did you stick it to the pole?'

'With my own saliva,' said Jeva.  He was amused by this, but Scott and Bob were not.

  • Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians
  • You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home
  • There is a true and sincere friendship between you both
  • You should be able to make money and hold on to it

'They say fortunes make more sense when you add 'in bed' to the end of them,' said Scott, as he looked over Jeva's four fortunes.

Jeva said, 'You know what's weird?  If I stuck my finger in your food, you would think it was rude.  But the chef sticks his fingers in it all the time-to taste it.'

Scott said: 'The chef has most likely bathed in the past week.'

Jeva said: 'He could have AIDS. . .'

'How is that illustration project of yours coming along?' Scott asked Jeva,

who responded, 'I shouldn't have drank so much cough syrup the night before the deadline.'

'You should have started before then,' said Scott.

Jeva continued: 'Now they're not returning my calls.'

"You are a fool,' said Scott.

'I know... I should have made copies of my work.  I was very fond of it.' He furrowed his brow, 'And I should have put more JEVAs in it. . .that's the kicker.'

'Yeah,' said Scott sarcastically, 'More JEVAs would have won them over.'

Jeva looked contemplative.  He said, 'It's ok. I've got another project in the works.'  The others just looked at him, as he chewed his cheek slightly.

Bob said, 'How is it that-'

'Ya know what?' interrupted Scott.  He had been lost in his thoughts and didn't realize Bob was speaking. 'Michelle made me a cup of tea with cream in it.  I had never had it that way before, but now I drink it like that a lot.'

'I don't,' said Bob, 'It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I drink it like that.'



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