Exquisite Corpse - Issue 3
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Poems
by Alistair McHarg

 

When Good Dogs Turn Bad

Poodles in black leather jackets
With chain wallets
Smoking cigarettes
Fouling the lawns and laughing
Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Great danes, pounding down martinis, wearing tweed
Pompously peppering their conversations with obscure
Quotations from Kierkegaard and Sartre
Leaping over fences and disturbing
The flower beds
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Dalmatians with playboy lifestyles
Yachts, sunglasses, the Riviera
Pissing on the tires of every Rolls Royce
In front of the Ritz
Drinking from the toilet bowls
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

Undercover dachshunds
With their little spy cameras
Wiretapping for the CIA
Running a network of operatives behind enemy lines
Chewing holes in the Sunday paper
It makes me mad
When good dogs turn bad

It's hard time at the pound
Howling, barking, begging and drooling
So sad
But it's the only way to teach them a lesson
When good dogs
Good dogs
Good dogs
Turn bad


Small Game Hunting

Hunting small game can get sticky
I've got a mouse to kill
And his name is Mickey

Like a plague
He's everywhere
Malls, movies
Shirts, shorts, sheets
And on the heads of his followers

The rats of London
Killed with filth
Mickey kills with cleanliness
A surgeon with white gloves

He cuts away the viscera
The pain, the fear
The madness and the joy
Leaving only the veneer

In his world, in his land
Everyone is happy all the time
Sadness is a crime

In his land, in his world
Rich, bittersweet stories
Turn flat and empty
Light that lies on a silver wall

One day America grew up
And declared that it was old enough for solid food
Not predigested saccharine pap from a household pest

I got the contract
And small game hunting can get sticky
I've got a mouse to kill
And his name is Mickey

 

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