Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abu Shaduf Expounded
Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abu Shaduf Expounded
by Yusuf al Shirbinis
translated by Humphrey Davies
Ill flee your country for a thousand years,
Traveling each year for a thousand miles,
And were you to give us a thousand Egypts,
Each watered by a thousand Niles,
Our hearts would be so sick at you,
Your lands wed gladly for good eschew
And, taking leave, this lay,
Passed down by noble hands, Id say,
When a boor alights at their tents,
Its time for the tribe to go thence!
Anon.
We are a tribe whom the wide-eyed pupil
Melts, though we melt iron ourselves.
In war, youll find us noble men;
In peace, were slaves to singing girls.
Man ibn Zaida
Raising the skirt from off her cunt
I found the hair thereon as black as any Moor.
Whats this I see? I asked.
A eunuch, she said, who writes down every visitor.
But now the weathers cold, while hair is warm,
So go to it, good fellow, without demur, and slam that door!
anon.
I saw a leper deep down in a well
And another with vitiligo whose shit on him fell.
Said I, Behold what your Lord hath wrought
The like of a thing attracts its own sort!
Anon.
I loved, I was abased.
Starvation made my body waste.
Two years it seemed to last,
That day my heart made its unlawful fast.[1]
By Him before whom the hills collapse,
The penniless lover deserves a volley of slaps!
anon.
When friends lie down to sleep, leave me alone
With a boy whos ripe for a stealthy poke.
The sweetest of fucks are without consent,
When the lover says no, or for fear of prying folk.
Abu Nuwas.
When I think of you whom I adore
The snot my beard goes running oer.
Would you were with me when I empty my gut
Youd push your tongue right up my butt.
The rain in the skies has been stopped by your breeze,
Which also with phlegm has filled my knees.
If you dont save me, Ill throw in the towel,
For love has gone and loosened my bowel!
Anon.
Your millers a radiant beauty -
Cant get him out of my mind!
With waist so slim I wish I knew
How much he charges per grind!
Anon.
Harun al-Rashid one day passed a young slave girl who was for sale and said, By God, were it not for a few freckles on her face and a snubness to her nose, I would buy her! at which the girl recited:
The gazelle for all his beauty is not without,
Nay, nor the moon with whom the poets are besotted:
The gazelle has a snub nose for all to see
And the moon, as all know, is spotted.
Unnamed slave girl.
It happened that someone fell in love with a Jewish youth who was very keen on bell-ringing.[2] One day he passed him as he was ringing the bells and uttered the following verses:
I saw him ring the bell and said,
Who taught this fawn to ring the bell?
And, Soul, said I, Which like you best?
The (w)ringing of the bell, or of your heart? Think well!
Anon.
Fornicator they call the one who loves cute girls
While the lover of smooth boys they call Bugger,
So chastely to bearded men I turned
For Id rather be neither one nor tother!
Anon.
Bearded now is the lad who
Once with himself was so smitten.
Comely once was his face
But soon it got re-written.[3]
How my sight was gladdened
When it saw him thus and was cured!
Thanks be to God for a beard
That a nape, from a face, procured!
Anon.
He plundered us all with his charms,
Till God put his beauty to sack.
His beard appeared and that was it
God spared the Believers attack.[4]
Anon.
God did not do to the Jews
Nor to "Ad or Thamud[5] and their race,
Nor yet to Pharaoh when he defied Him,
What hairiness does to the face!
Anon.
I see Fate lifting every scoundrel high
And humbling those with noble traits
Just like the sea, which drowns all living things
While every stinking carcass to its surface levitates,
Or like the scale, which raises all thats light
But sinks with weights.
Anon.
Patience! Youd rush to thank the Lord of Every Boon,
If you but knew what benefits in patience lie!
And know that should you not endure with grace
What by the Pen is writ, you will perforce comply!
Anon.
One kiss! I asked the full moon high in the sky.
By Him who draped the clouds, he said, I will comply!
But when we met with none about,
I reckoned wrong and lost all count!
Anon.
And I myself said on the same theme:[6]
I saw upon his cheek a stippled mark that beauty held
He whom an earring had made yet sweeter to behold.
I want a kiss I said. Said he, When were alone!
And on that stipulation I kissed a thousand-fold!
Yusuf al-Shirbini
Would that youd seen me and my darling
When like a deer he from me fled
And ran away, and I gave chase;
Would youd seen us when after hot pursuit he said,
Will you not leave me be? and I said, No!
And he, What would you of me? and I, You know!
And he then stayed aloof and shyly turned his back,
And proudly turned, not to me, but away -
For then I almost kissed him, right in front of everyone.
Ah would I now could do what then I should have done!
Anon.
An amusing story has it that one day Abu Nuwas was walking in the streets of Baghdad when he saw a beautiful youth and kissed him in front of everyone. He and the youth were brought before the judge Yahya ibn Akyam[7] and the youth brought charges against Abu Nuwas. After bowing his head in silence for a moment, the judge recited:[8]
If you object to being groped and kissed
Dont go to market without a veil;
Dont lower lashes oer a forelock
And dont display upon your temple a scorpion-curl,
For as you are you slay the weak, drive the lover to delerium,
And leave the Muslims judge in dire travail!
The youth in