....And I was thinking
of a different way to make a Living than teaching Art at a place where
everybody hates me and they don't pay me jack SHIT. And around here,
everything's a scheme, a hustle, a Plan, a Prop. Proposition. Preposition.
Over, Under, Around, Across, Along. Along the Mississippi. Ac-CROSS
the Mississippi. IN the Mississippi. In-SIDE the Mississippi. I decided
that if I could find the Mississippi River's Pussy I could work out
a deal with Fleetwhite that after he marries his Drunken Tourists, instead
of a goddamn Carriage Ride in the Old Square we'd say, Hey! That there's
the Mississippi River. And we know where you can go to find its Pussy.
THEN, for only $65, we'd take them to a little glass booth I'd have
set up on the Bank that had a little hole in it with mud coming thru,
and they could get off by watching each other eat out the Mississippi's
Pussy! A Threesome! A great way to kick off a Lifetime Together. Black
& White photographs $20 extra.
$99 for a Hi-8 videotape for
them to watch five years later when they couldn't get each other off
anymore. And then it'd be time for a Second Honeymoon, see? Me, hell,
I'm divorced. But what I would give to take my Ex-wife on a Second Honeymoon
and watch her go down to the Banks of the Mississippi and Eat out its
Hell, she's probably ALREADY
done as much to the
Susquehanna. Or the St. John. Or the goddamn Nile, wherever the hell