1.) A mockumentary
of Baptisms in the Mississippi going wrong, with Baptists actually drowning.
2.) A spelling bee
held by the river, where the contestants are forced to spell various
bodies of water.
3.) Exploration of
the rivers that drain into the Mississippi, to see how they feel overshadowed,
and how they might come to cope with this.
4.) A Mississippi
mud pie throwing contest.
5.) Using T.S. Eliot's:
"At what point in its course does the Mississippi become what the
Mississippi means?" do a social drama on Mississippi River culture
using black and white sock puppets.
6.) Alligator gar,
7.) Make up a cute,
if not annoying cartoonish character named Ojibwe the Otter, who tells
people the history of the Mississippi River, but also sexually harasses
8.) Make a movie and
call it: Interracial Fuck Orgy! Make one of the characters at the orgy
dress up like Mark Twain.
9.) Reenact the movie
Speed 2 with a river boat, but use a plotline and better acting.
10.) When all else
fails, claim the Mississippi River in the name of España.