A
new rhetorical device has come into vogue in modern discourse: the
spell-check. Typically it comes at the end of a given article or
essay, as a summary point, like so: "Finally, when I typed in Sarajevo
my computer didn't recognize it, further underscoring the failure
of East and West to find some common ground." Whole sociological
portraits can be drawn with the spell-check; it is a short time
now before it gets touted as the new new art.
Anyone can do it. All you need is
a few related words and a computer. Suppose you type in Hitler,
Stalin, Mussolini, and Mao. Word 97 knows them all. Try
Ghandi, however, and you get a red squiggle underneath. Good
guys have no place in the modern cultural consiousness. Your computer
knows baddies Lenin and Trotsky, but not peace lovers
Lennon, McCartney, and Starr. It remembers
Auschwitz but not Woodstock. Your spell-check will gleefully
accept Ku Klux Klan (try typing it in lower kase, your komputer
will gently suggest that you kapitalize your k's). Ominously, Word
97 acknowledges German politicians Helmut Kohl and Gerhard
Schroeder - we may not know exactly what these men are up to
but we can assume, from the company they keep in our spell check,
that they are bad, bad men. The spell check, incidentally, approves
of the word Reich.
History and politics are of course
just two of the arenas in which your spell check is prone to make
profound observations. Try Ferrari and Lamborghini
- both accepted by Word 97. Then try Thoreau and Walden,
both rejected, and it is plain where modern American priorities
lie: I climbed in my Corvette to try to suck the marrow out
of speed, that I might not reach the end of life's journey to discover
that I had never truly sped. Poe is not represented in the
spell check lexicon, nor Steinbeck. What is truly shocking,
however, is that an American computer could be so subliterate as
to question Gatsby, Moby, and Huck. (Somewhat
puzzling is the machine's familiarity with our cartoon heritage,
accepting Daffy, Wile E. Coyote, and even Foghorn
Leghorn).
Whole volumes may soon be written
in this new form, about our religious intolerance (Ramadan),
our cultural illiteracy (Antonin Dvorak) and our many other
shortcomings. The medium does most of the work itself. After several
hours I could almost imagine my computer assuming human form and
addressing me in a hick accent: "I heard of Napoleon before,
but who the heck was Bonaparte?"
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